i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
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I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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