my vag is so smooth its legendary
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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