brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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