It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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