after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
