...so i touched it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
