RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
