And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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