Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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