my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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