Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm passing your future prison.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
