Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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