just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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