did you get engaged???
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
