So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
