Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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