and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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