i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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