Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
