Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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