So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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