maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
