your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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