So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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