It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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