I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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