I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize