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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.

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• (760): View more from California

  If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  He's cheating on her.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Are you sure it wasn't her?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  im still drunk. birthday week begins.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???

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• (714): View more from California

  Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had

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• (386): View more from Florida

  This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body

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