im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.