only if we run a train.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?