Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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  (563): i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up. http://tfl.nu/69xm
  Replies (12) Good night (830) Bad night (577)
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  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

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  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (2406)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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  (908): Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings" http://tfl.nu/7jzd
  Replies (29) Good night (2968) Bad night (550)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

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  (732): The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ? http://tfl.nu/0iqw
  Replies (11) Good night (4012) Bad night (961)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

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  (314): He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is. http://tfl.nu/o2e4
  Replies (42) Good night (1199) Bad night (6514)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  What should I wear?

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar

  (206): View more from Washington

  I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."

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  (206): What should I wear? (808): Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar (206): I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys." http://tfl.nu/2bo9
  Replies (5) Good night (3311) Bad night (753)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice

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  (512): Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice http://tfl.nu/6dv2
  Replies (8) Good night (3011) Bad night (667)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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  (704): The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night. http://tfl.nu/10ma
  Replies (4) Good night (1251) Bad night (727)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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  (773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg
  Replies (2) Good night (2116) Bad night (510)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to

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  (270): I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to http://tfl.nu/v0lt
  Replies (8) Good night (755) Bad night (1441)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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  (506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx
  Replies (8) Good night (621) Bad night (1152)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life

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  (772): we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life http://tfl.nu/tfqf
  Replies (15) Good night (925) Bad night (341)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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  (937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj
  Replies (13) Good night (2927) Bad night (486)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.

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  (704): My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong. http://tfl.nu/luq5
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (295)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".

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  (401): Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans". http://tfl.nu/re7n
  Replies (6) Good night (260) Bad night (836)

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