The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
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How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?