whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
