she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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