Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
