You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
