Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
drinking out of a sandbucket again
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
