he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize