It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They are going to name an STD after you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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