So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
