At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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