Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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