I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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