She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize