I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
