dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
