Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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