New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
