What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
