Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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