Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
