there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
