After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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