I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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