Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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