please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
