D3 body, D1 cock
You smell like stripper and shame
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
