It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
