I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
