as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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