I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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