remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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