i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
