Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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