3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize