How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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