TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
