You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Never underestimate the power of titties
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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