That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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