I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
