I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i out mim tonsoeep
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