I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
