Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
