I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we're so committed to being not committed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
