Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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