too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
