i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
